Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
