This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
