It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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