I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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