my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
