Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
