i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
