I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
