Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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