I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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