I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Randomize
