Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
