Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
