My nipple is on Facebook.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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