somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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