grandma shit on top of the toilet
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
