Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
