Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
