Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
