so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
