I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
