well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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