SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
