didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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