Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
