you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
