spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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