why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize