Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"

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(407): View more from Florida

We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.

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(517): View more from Michigan

There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are

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(954): View more from Florida

my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day

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(720): View more from Colorado

I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.

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(813): View more from Florida

I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.

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