Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
