i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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