Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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