drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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