How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
