Whatcha textin bout Willis?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize