I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
