is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
