so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
And then my night got REAL pukey
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
