I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
