P.S. I can't hear my feet
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
