You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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