he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
