So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
