just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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