We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
