I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
