You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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