I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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