he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
