just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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