real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
NoShamevember. You game?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
