Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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