Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
