Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
