Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
