she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
