I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
