yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
