exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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