That's intense
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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