I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
