It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Found your dick twin last night
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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