I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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