Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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