Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
