problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
