Little spoons don't ask big questions
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
